The Real Cost of Homeless

I feel slightly guilty that my blog is currently overrun with posts about our homeless situation and nothing else, but I've always tried to blog "real" life and in reality our housing situation remains the forefront of our life right now.

In my original homeless blog Homeless - Life in B&B I shared my presumption that our emergency accommodation was costing the equivalent of our housing benefit entitlement plus a £50.00 per week top up.  I was angry at the top up and requested a review of this by our local council, and, additionally I asked the question as to how much the council pay as their contribution to this emergency room.  I also complained about the state of the property.

This morning I received a response in writing.

Our £50.00 per week contribution is based on our income, not the accommodation and not our expenditure.  Our income (purely benefits) dictates the contribution and the council have refused to reduce this even though I pointed out our storage costs and extra fuel costs travelling to cook a meal for my children.  I had complained that the kitchen is filthy and utensils inadequate to cook a meal for a family of five.  The council have responded that I can ask for additional utensils from the landlady if I cannot bring my own here (well yes I could bring my own but that would mean even more stuff crammed into our room).  I was also told that cleaning the kitchen is the residents responsibility, including cleaning the oven.  However, today a cleaner has come in to clean the oven and general areas to an acceptable standard, so maybe some responsibility does lie with the landlady.

I had also complained about the shower attachment being held together with duck tape.  This was replaced with a new shower attachment yesterday.

Anyway, regardless of the filth and lack of facilities I was most interested to read the contribution that is paid by the council for a room in this property.  To my horror the letter that was sent to me states clearly that the council are paying £105.00 per night....yes PER NIGHT towards our emergency accommodation with our £50.00 per week on top.

This equates to a massive £785.00 PER WEEK, £3,401 PER MONTH.  A massive £40K a YEAR for ONE ROOM! There are 5 rooms in this property.  You do the maths!

The thing that pee's me off most, is that when I asked for some cloths to be provided because "I" was having to clean the communal areas to make the place a little more hygienic for "MY" children, I was provided with this!

Homeless - And on the Brink

This last week has been truly awful and when I sit back and think about the rollercoaster we are on, I am surprised we are still here to tell the tale.  

In my last blog Happy Faces and Progress I shared some positive news that the council were looking at moving us to temporary accommodation in the next 7-9 days, which may have been a 2 bedroom flat.

On Tuesday we received the devastating news that we would not be moved to that accommodation as it was deemed too small and the council didn't want to place us in an "overcrowded" situation.  Rather gutting considering we are instead left sharing one room.....one bloody room for god sake!

On a more positive note our housing points are high and we are very high on the list for a permanent home and remain high priority for a suitable temporary home.  Yay!  

But, actually it's not so yay.  We are still here in one room.  In reality we are all struggling and in the children's case most definitely "suffering".  Gary and I are clinging on by a thread and the stress has meant that our marriage has taken a battering.  Gary was doing well with his depression and the medication was working, but needless to say it's now not enough and he has some very dark days.  I'm managing to keep going to some extent, but generally break down every other day and it's getting harder to pull myself out of the hole.  The combination of our down days is making us snappy, argumentative and tearful.  

Samuel is in an awful state.  Generally choosing not to be here at all.  He spends more time at his dads, at school and today he's gone off to stay at grandma's house for a break.  He can't stand it here and when he does have to be here he spends the majority of time in tears.

Oliver started nursery on Wednesday and is doing two mornings a week.  Thankfully he did really well and settled in fine.  He remembered the nursery from using the creche facility last year and recognised the faces of staff there.  It's a fantastic break from "the room" for him.  I am really thankful that he settled in so quickly.  

Sadly Oliver has also become very teary of late.  He's fine sometimes, but there have been some afternoons that he has been upset and for the first time yesterday he cried in the car because he didn't want to come back to the room.  Isabella joined in and I had them both in meltdown.

Neither Oliver or Isabella are eating properly.  They don't eat breakfast because they have nowhere to sit and eat and sitting on their beds or a suitcase is too distracting for them.  Lunch is generally "on the go" as we try to stay out of the room all day and by dinner time when we drive to my mums house they are just far too tired.

Bedtime varies between 9.30-10pm until as late as 11pm.  We just can't get them to settle any earlier as the room is too light and there is too much noise in the house.  Also, Samuel will not sleep without the television on.

Today we tried to keep upbeat.....nearly 4 weeks in means they can only keep us her just over 2 weeks due to the 6 week law for families in B&B.

Then we came home to a bill for £400.00 for 8 weeks B&B contributions, taking us to 15th July.  It was like someone had suddenly stabbed me right in the stomach with a huge knife.  The council blatantly indicating that we will be living in one room for longer than 6 weeks.

After 6 weeks we are able to take the council to court for a judicial review.  Our task over the next week is to find out exactly how we go about doing that.  I will not allow the system to leave my children to suffer when legally they are not allowed to do so!

How would you feel if this was Your children's only space to play, only space to eat, only place to dress, only place to do homework, only place to have time out.  This free carpet space is approximately a metre squared. 

The only space my children have to play

Happy Faces and Progress

We are now starting our 3rd week in the "room".  Earlier this week I hit a low point and allowed myself to wallow for a day or so.  I think it's okay to have a good cry, and so that's what I did.

However, I am not going to allow this situation to break me, or to break my family.  

Since my last blog I have continued to keep a photo record of all the nice things we do with the children.  If you follow me on Instagram you can see the happy smiley faces of Samuel, Oliver and Isabella enjoying simple pleasures.  The weather has been very much on our side and I like to think that means someone "up there" is looking out for us.

Yesterday Gary managed to speak to our housing officer who has now indicated that there might be a temporary property available for us in 7-9 days!  We don't know what sort of property this will be, it could only be 2 bedrooms and might be a flat, but to have a self contained private space will be luxury in comparison to our current home.

I am trying not to get my hopes up and instead of thinking about 7-9 days I'm focusing on something else - Samuel has a school residential trip the week after next and that's at the forefront of my mind for now.  Oliver also starts nursery next week.  He will be going two mornings a week and this will allow me some 1:1 time with Isabella. 

All in all life goes on, although I still find it rather odd continuing our normal activities - I feel like I should be doing more to get us out of here - but really at the moment there is nothing more we can do but wait.

I shall leave you with a collage of my children having fun these last few days.

We'll get by with a little help from our friends

Following on from my last post Homeless - Life in B&B I wanted to write an update.

We remain in our "room", however, our homeless application has been considered by the council and we have been found unintentionally homeless.  That basically translates to it wasn't our fault that we are homeless and now the council will help us to secure suitable accommodation.  It doesn't mean we will be moved from this hell hole any time soon though.  The story is still the same, there are no social houses and private rents available to people on benefits without a guarantor are far and few between.

So, what do we do all day?  Living in one room presents challenges you wouldn't think of.  You would think it would be easy to keep clean and tidy - far from it.  Eating, sleeping and living in one room means its a tip!  Bedding mixed with food mixed with towels mixed with clean clothes mixed with dirty mixed with toys mixed with crockery.....a 3 bedroom house squashed into one room.

We cannot leave anything in the communal areas or it would be pinched.  I'm not saying it would be taken completely, but it would be used.  If I leave my washing up liquid at the kitchen sink, the other residents will use it.  That probably sounds quite petty, but I have three children to care for and as we seem to be paying the most to stay here, I don't think I should have to share my household essentials.

Our Family Outreach Worker came to visit us today to see how we are bearing up.  Thankfully I've been on an up day and she thinks we are doing remarkably well considering the circumstances.  Oliver is starting nursery soon to give him a break and I was grateful that the Outreach Worker had organised this for him so quickly.  

I have also been in contact with Social Services and managed to get a commode and bed lever for Gary.  The bed lever has been a godsend already and makes it so much easier for him to pull himself up without needing me, and the commode means no more trips to the bathroom at night when I'm asleep and can't help.  The physio has sent exercises for Gary to do.

Samuel's school transport has been organised.  He will be picked up every morning (although 15 minutes earlier than his last pick up time!) and I will pick him up from school every day.

We're managing to juggle eating with mums, where I can cook a really good and healthy meal, with a couple of nights a week munching microwave meals here (I can't afford petrol to mums every day).  I don't think 2 rubbish meals a week will harm the kids if it is balanced with 5 tasty dinners the rest of the week.  This is no time to worry about that!

It seems we are learning to live differently and accepting that we have to make the best of it as we can for our children.  This leads me to my main reason for posting a blog tonight.

Support.

I have been totally and utterly amazed at the support I have received from friends, and the wider world of social media.  My last blog post was shared by so many, comments of support came flooding in and I really do feel that some people were shocked that our situation is par for the course.

My last blog angered many....angered them because they feel my pain, they can flip the situation and consider how they would feel with their children living in the same accommodation as mine.  It doesn't bare thinking about to most.

Then there are some that have been in this awful situation.  Been there, done that and truly know the extent of the stress it brings.  Some are still in it!

I have also found that a few special people have gone above and beyond to help me and my family. Those people know who they are and do not need any direct mention.  Those people have brought me to tears....in a good way!  Non judgemental, caring, considerate, listeners with kind suggestions and offers of practical help and support.  They will never know really how grateful I am, but I am.  

One of my supportive friends suggested some ways to keep us motivated as a family, and today I acted on one of her suggestions.  

We went out as a family, just to a local play park by the river, and we packed up a picnic for lunch.  Gary and I took photographs of the children....happy....playing.....smiling.....and a million miles away from our "room".  Each day I pledge to take a photograph of my children doing something happy, to show them that through this rough time, we all still had fun.  

So, instead of pictures of the dire place we live, I shall leave you with 3 pictures of happiness.  My 3 children having fun.

Homeless - Life in B&B

On Tuesday we made a homeless application to our local council and were moved to "bed and breakfast" accommodation.

Most of us think of bed and breakfast as a quaint little guest house with comfortable rooms and serving a delicious full English breakfast.  I can assure you that the bed and breakfast accommodation provided to homeless families in Christchurch is neither comfortable or quaint.  

We have actually been housed in a shared property a few doors down from the holiday guest house that owns this house.  My husband and I and our 3 children have been placed in one room on the ground floor and we share a kitchen and bathroom with 4 other rooms.  

Inside our room we were originally provided with one small double bed, a single bed and a mattress on the floor.  After complaining to the council we now have an extra single bed.  It's pretty squashed and there is no storage.  The kitchen provides an oven, microwave, toaster and kettle as well as a washing machine and tumble dryer.  Crockery and pots and pans are limited and not enough to cook a meal for a family of 5.  We've been eating at my parents house every day.  The bathroom is adequate although needs a really good deep clean.

I have cried so many tears.  The initial shock and realisation that this is now our home, tears of failure, tears of self pitty and tears just because I've had to hold for the toilet longer than my 3 babies later bladder can manage.

When we walked into our room Gary sat on the single bed and held his head in his hands.  He couldn't speak, he couldn't look at me, he couldn't look at the children.  Overwhelmed with his feelings of failing his family.  It took all of my strength to tell him that it would be ok. 

Samuel has been in turmoil and hates our room.  He hates me, he hates Gary, but he sure as hell hates the council more.  Oliver and Isabella think we're on holiday.  It's an adventure at the moment, although Olly has had problems like me in waiting for the toilet and tonight both are still awake at 10pm.

I don't want to dwell on the negatives.  Every day I am thankful that we still have a roof over our heads and beds to sleep in.  We have a supportive family cooking us dinner and helping wade through our huge pile of washing (sharing a washing machine means I can't get through our huge loads).  And, most importantly, we still have each other.

I am angry at the system and the government and local councils seemingly unrealistic opinion of housing options available to families like us, however, no matter how often we complain, even if we shout and scream, the housing issue in the UK and particularly in our local area is dire and getting upset is not going to house us properly any quicker. 

My outlook is now about providing security to my children in any way that I can.  Our housing is certainly not secure, but I can provide routine and consistency even in these extreme circumstances.  My children need love first and foremost and so I am endeavouring, with the help of Gary and my parents to make the children's lives as "normal" as possible.  We may not have a traditional routine in place, but we are making a new routine.

Breakfast is served with the children kneeling at a small lamp table in our room.  We've been going out as much as we can during the daytime and eating a proper dinner at my parents house each night.  There I can cook a proper healthy dinner and the children can sit to a dining table as they have previously been used to.

Due to the distance we travel to and from my parents house we are arriving home quite late after dinner, so the bedtime routine has changed.  The bathroom here is a bit "yuk" but nothing that a bit of bleach and an old toothbrush couldn't scrub clean (I may don my rubber gloves soon).  However, the children have had baths before bed and quite enjoy the fact that they can watch television until they pass out.

The kitchen sink is generally piled high with washing up and people leave washing in the machine and tumble dryer, but the other residents are very young and so this morning I did the washing up, and this evening I folded someones washing so that I could use the dryer.  

I shouldn't have to, but I am a mum and I am trying my best to deal with this and to make the best of it for my children.

Oh, and my final revelation to you all is the price we are paying.  We currently receive full housing benefit entitlement for a 3 bedroom house, in Christchurch this equates to £800.00 per month.  The housing department is taking all of this for our room and on top are charging us a £50.00 per week top up.  So that's just over £1k a month.....for one room....for five people.  On top of that we pay £35.00 per week plus VAT for a storage facility as we only have room here for the bare essentials.  

This one room and shared facilities is costing us more than the 3 bedroom private house we rented.

I will leave you with some snaps of our new home.